10 things I learnt when life gave me a lemon

1. We get a gut feeling before something bad is about to happen but we ignore it.

We feel air around us getting change. But we think it is just ourselves being paranoid. Instead of taking hold on it earlier, we let things grow bad. We ignore our instincts because we don’t notice the change.

2. We understand that we can’t do anything about certain things but still we try to fix everything.
   
   We realize that we don’t have control about few things but still we try to take control because our ego doesn’t allow us to sit down and watch things getting worse. But sometimes things needs to get worse just to get better. We need to realize sometimes greatest thing you can do to fix things is doing nothing. There is a difference between activity and productivity.

3. It is OK to fall weak sometimes.

You might have been strong throughout your life, standing tall even in greatest adversities. But there will be moments in life when you will fall weak. You will speak and do things you know are wrong but still you won’t be able to control yourself. You will feel helpless, you will cry and you will see yourself falling into pieces. You will feel guilty about yourself being weak and then you will try to stand again. This cycle will repeat several times and will leave you getting stronger every time.

4. We always resist change, no matter how prepared we were.

It is natural, it is human and understandable because we are blessed with a brain. We don’t behave as per our instincts, we try to find answers. But instead of trying to find answers how, when and why, first accept the change and adapt accordingly. Analysis part should come later.

5. It is possible to give our 100% and still lose.

Life is not fair as we wish it should be. A farmer may plough the fields, sow the seeds and water them at right times. But untimely rains or disasters can ruin everything anytime. Sometimes bad things just happens and it is not our fault. We may feel restless and turbulent at that time. But we need to realize, shit happens.

6. We find happiness when we start giving it to others.

Several books and articles talk about it. I don’t feel a need to explain it.

7. Greatest hurdle in moving on is our own lack of desire for it.

We never move on unless until we decides to. We keep ourselves chained with false hopes. As soon as we realize that things have changed, we should start moving on. Holding onto past and keeping false hope just increase sufferings and delay healing. The day we decide that we want to move on, journey is half done.

Dr Stephen Spencer writes in ‘Who Moved My Cheese’:

“Greatest inhibitor to change lies within yourself, nothing gets better until you change.”

8. Hope for a better future but don’t expect things to get better too soon.

Hoping and dreaming about the better future gives us strength to move on. But better future doesn’t mean that it will be like what we may want it to be. We need to be open for changes. We never know it may bring something better than we wanted.

9. We should not try to supress our feelings but we should control expressing them.

Cry if you want to. Shout if that makes you feel better. Let your anger come out. But this doesn’t mean you start shouting and cursing somebody on his/her face. Share how you feel. If you find difficulty in sharing then write down those feelings. Sometimes we should let tears flow, its feels really good after crying. But remember don’t let your words and action hurt others.

10. There is positive aspect of every situation. Sometimes we might just have to dig deeper to find it.

There is always an opportunity to learn, an opportunity to grow and opportunity to push your own limits in adverse situation. There is always a blessing in disguise. When you will come out of your bad time, you will proud of yourself that you survived one of the worst phase of life. Though we may not have acted always so gracefully but best part is we didn’t give up on surviving.

Just believe, everything happens for a good reason.  

The Wimp

I asked him, “Who are you”?
He stared back at me.
He didn’t answer.
He never answers.
In fact, he never speaks, never.
He just stares. Sometimes, his stares chill my bones.
He looks so spiritless, so craven.
I always think, he is hiding some secret.
A big secret, a secret about something or someone.
But he is too cowardly to tell, or
may be, he is just waiting for the right time.
I always wonder, what relation do I have with him?
He appears to me as the most pathetic human in world.
He is silent, he is lazy & he is weak.
He is an embodiment of sadness.
I feel, he always thinks of failures. So many ifs.
I don’t think he is calm. He is just silent.
He looks like a volcano about to erupt.
A volcano which never erupted,
but has red hot lava simmering inside.

He makes me feel disturbed.
He looks like a manifestation of gloom.
But what makes him so dejected?
Somebody told me, he was happy once.
He was full of vitality, his spirit was charismatic.
But one day he decided to settle for less.
He accepted whatever came, he never questioned.
He never fought back. Fighting will hurt them,
he thought.
For fulfilling the expectations of others,
he sacrificed his dreams.
He supposed, keeping them happy
would make him happy too.
At least, that's what he was led to believe.
He was happy seeing their satisfied faces. But sad too.
Because it wasn't his dreams that he realized.
He tried to be heroic by trying to be happy.
 But, he was empty inside.

Soon, everybody forgot his sacrifices.
That’s sad but true, everybody cares just for themselves.
He cared for everybody else, but now he was forgotten.

He was no longer confident about what he had been taught.
He was confused, he was exhausted.
He asked everybody he met, what did he miss?
What went wrong?
He was supposed to be happy, but he wasn’t.
His questions remained unanswered.
The grief of sacrificing everything for nothing devoured him.
He cried, he regretted but the opportunities were lost.
His dreams were lost.
Nobody liked him when he was sad.
Nobody cared for him, not even for his glories.
The people for whom he had given up so much
distanced themselves from him.
One day, he stopped questioning, he has been silent since.
I still don’t like him.
I just thank God, he is not me.